Saturday, August 1, 2015

When the "Internet response" is more interesting than the story

It's 2015. What an age we live in, where global media outlets are reporting on every swell of decry from a public that's being encouraged and rewarded for "joining the conversation" online.
Every night our local newscasts have a story about something that's "gone viral" on the Internet. They're covering these stories trying to explain WHY it's gone viral, often with no good answer. It's not the stories being newsworthy, it's the unpredictable nature of WHY these stories have enraptured so many people around the world (what's newsworthy these days is how many hits something can get on YouTube now :S).
The swelling and ubiquitous coverage of Deflate Gate and Cecil the Lion, for example, is not about the heinous nature of the crimes committed, but rather the hyperbolic response these stories have received on the Internet. 
We've seen that the dentist had murdered plenty of animals before, but the Internet's viral-marketing machine wasn't tuned up to its most efficient rates when he was posting shots of dead rhinos. 
But today, good ol' today, we have thousands of people running websites who hunt through the news looking for something they can turn "viral." And they've gotten good at it. Twitter and Facebook are probably the ones benefiting from this the most - - I mean, where do you hear about these stories most often? Perhaps ISP providers who capitalize on your uploading/downloading and bandwidth (they're not gonna stop you from "joining the conversation," are they?)
What's all the more compelling is our digital media devices (everything connects to the Internet now) have become trashy tabloids, with rumours and overreaction slapped all across the headlines.
I guess the part that makes this worse (there's always been trashy reporting) is that people are predictably turning into that crowd of villagers with pitchforks and rakes to scare off Frankenstein's Monster.
One of the most prominent Internet narratives that "goes viral" is the shaming of "monsters" for their misdeeds. Here we are, in a world that's never been more educated, more connected and more globally minded, and we're banding together like villagers in a black-and-white movie to drive away the things we don't understand. 
Very 2015 of us. 
Spring Chickens

UpVote on Reddit, Follow on Twitter and Like on Facebook!

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Friendly Pharmaceutical Reminder

A friendly update from your friends at pharmaceutical companies. There is NOTHING that pharmaceuticals can't solve - - Remember: A pill a day keeps the doctor away!

Spring Chickens

UpVote on Reddit, Follow on Twitter and Like on Facebook!

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Hallmark Rejects: Happy Fathers' Day

Papaya! They're a lot like fathers, did you know?

  • They're also pronounced "papaw" or "pawpaw" JUST like fathers; 
  • It is native to the tropics of the Americas, perhaps from southern Mexico JUST like some American fathers!;
  • The lower trunk (of the tree) is conspicuously scarred where leaves and fruit were borne JUST like ... well, Mothers, ... but fathers are forever INconspicuously scarred from kids, too.
  • The fruit is ripe when it feels soft JUST like fathers, who get softer as they "ripen."
  • Pests kill papayas, JUST like pestering makes fathers want to kill. 
The most fitting fruit for fathers' day. Happy Fathers' Day Dad!

(ah man, he never reads this blog anyhow)

Spring Chickens

UpVote on Reddit, Follow on Twitter and Like on Facebook!

Monday, April 27, 2015

Octopus Hockey League

The common refrain around the NHL is "What a classy organization the Detroit Red Wings are," but seriously, who still murders animals, stuff them in their pants, sneaks into Joe Louis Arena and hurls them on the ice, and then swings them around their heads? It's ... the most disgusting thing in hockey I can think of. You'd think such a CLASSY group could come up with something less stupid.

Look up "humane alternative" to flinging the Red Wings octopus, and this is what you get:







  1. Al the Octopus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_the_Octopus

    Al the Octopus is the mascot of the Detroit Red Wings of the National Hockey League. During some games (usually home playoffs), octopuses are thrown onto  ...
    Missing: humane ‎alternatives
Missing: Humane alternatives, no kidding. This is so stupid.
Simple, arrest anyone who does it and ban them from the arena. And give the Wings a penalty. Soooo classy.

Spring Chickens

UpVote on Reddit, Follow on Twitter and Like on Facebook!

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

If you father could see you now

My wife doesn't like this one, she says it makes dinner too morbid. 

Spring Chickens

UpVote on Reddit, Follow on Twitter and Like on Facebook!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Taste Challenge

The doctor still gave him a B+

Spring Chickens

UpVote on Reddit, Follow on Twitter and Like on Facebook!

Friday, April 3, 2015

Springtime in the Old Days

This is how many conversations are going to go with my sons in a few years. Remember when Spring was awesome? Yeah, me, too. 

Spring Chickens

UpVote on Reddit, Follow on Twitter and Like on Facebook!