Zombie stegosaurus

So, now that I've done some photoshopping on the bad-boy, I can present the finished Stegosaurus Zombie for your consideration:

I also managed to layout the storyboards for the next few chapters of the Choose your own adventure, although I don't know when I'll get that done. It's already 111 pages, or something like that, which is pretty big considering I'm only halfway through the story. I guess when you're writing all those alternative choices, that's when things start to get much longer. This could be quite the long project.

I hope you like the image - it was a long time coming. 

Nanowrimo Winner

Here it is, suckas! Strolling in a day early for the 50,000 word verification - I am a winner of the 2008 Nanowrimo Challenge.

I win access to this little .jpg as well as a certificate. I printed and framed my certificate from last year. The Choose Your Own Adventure novel is coming along nicely, and it certainly has had its challenges. I honestly didn't think I was going to make it this year, but the story pushes along nicely and works really well. Plus, there's a lot of fun writing the 'endings' every now and again.

No doubt, if I'm going to have a reader go through five or six pages just to have the protagonist die, then I'm going to reward them with something cool - like the flamethrower I was mentioning earlier. It was recommended that I have someone die at the hands of a lion at the zoo - and I think I know a way to make that work (although I don't think the zoo really fits into the story very well).

So - a good day for me. It's a bit awkward for me to post this novel up online, because part of the novelty of a CYOA is turning to pages and checking where the story goes - which is not quite the same with a .pdf document. I admit, you'll have to wait for this one to be printed out (and finished) before you get access to it.

Unless I post it up with the blog and have links to the appropriate pages. I don't know if I want to do that just yet - I mean, perhaps I'll post the first part of the book like that, but ... I'm not certain I want to do that just yet.

Now I can get back to updating the Maple Leafs Challenge, which I haven't touched in almost two weeks. The participants must be getting edgey about it. Sorry.

See y'all around.

Here's a great obituary for Michael Crichton that came to my attention today.

One of the items that has me wondering was what his next book was going to be like. HarperCollins, his publisher, had scheduled for his next book to be released in December, but his illness postponed its release indefinitely. 

The private illness Crichton's family kept out of the media doesn't tell us much regarding how long he was ill. We can't really be sure how much of the novel was complete before his sickness postponed his efforts. Either way, we also don't know whether or not his final work will be finished or published posthumously. 

I can't even find any clues as to what it was about, but it should be available next May. So we'll get a glimpse of it.

Wikipedia has an excellent article on Crichton, if anyone was interested in more of his thoughts. 

Choose your own adventure - Excerpt 5

A5: Look around for the key to get her out

“Listen,” whispered Orrin, trying to take control of the situation, “we’ve got to look around a bit. This poor girl’s locked up like an animal. She needs our help. We’ve got to look around, and if we come up with nothing, then we get to the nearest phone and call the cops. It’s as easy as that.”

“Are you sure? What if this guy comes back?” said Andrea.

“We’re not sticking around, babe. We’ve just got to try to help, and then get the hell out of here,” he answered. “Come on. Help me look around for the key. It could be right here in front of us.”

Orrin began to hop around in search of an office or a closet or anything that someone might keep things in storage. There wasn’t anything. There were just rusted white bars and cattle stalls and a few troughs for feed. Flakes of rust flooded across the floor with the shit and the hay. Drips echoed through the dank basement, giving the environment a hollow and hopeless feel.

The captive girl rocked back and forth on the damp cot. She hugged her knees and stared blankly forwards through the bars. Her ankles were swollen and covered in filth. She had bruises all up and down her arms, and her hair hadn’t been cleaned or combed in days. What hells had she’d been subjected to were unimaginable. Her eyes were dark and sunken into her head, bags heavily formed beneath them.

Andrea splashed around the basement searching for another door or another area that might serve as a workshop or anything. Coming around the far side of the basement there was a wooden workbench that had a radio and a some tools on it, but nothing else. There were no keys to be found.

“I don’t think we’re going to find anything, Orrin,” she called out.

Orrin paused and winced as a flare of pain erupted in his leg. He gasped, but then regrouped himself. Things were going to be fine. He didn’t know how he was going to get back to the car, how he would get to a hospital, and didn’t know anything other than that by tomorrow, he’d be laughing about the whole thing. He hoped. He peered through the dank cells to the girl at the back. God, he thought, how selfish he was thinking of himself at a time in her midst. He felt a retched feeling in his guts as a sense of anguish empathized with her incarceration and torture. His broken leg and soaked clothing seemed a far worry from whatever she’s survived through – and then the pain flared again. He struggled to keep his eyes open with the sudden flashes of pain.

“Andrea,” he called out. After a pause to regroup himself, he said “there aren’t any keys. Let’s find a phone or something. We’ve got to just get out of here. I can barely stand up.”

“Okay,” she agreed. With a feeling of relief, Andrea hiked up her pants and headed towards the door. As a woman, Andrea had feared being captured and being held captive. She’d had dark imaginings of what it would be like to have the worst sufferable moments. For some reason, she’d imagined what it would be like to be the victim all her life. Groups of men intimidated her. Being alone intimidated her. She never carried a weapon to protect herself though, because she feared that any weapon she could wield would be used against her. Her greatest fears all met their match in this girl that she was juxtaposed with, contained and beaten.

She doubled back and waded up to the bars and faced the girl. She placed her hands through the bars and looked at the near-catatonic girl. “Sweetheart? What’s your name?”

The girl didn’t flinch, she just stared forwards, hugging her black and blue knees. Her eyes didn’t move, but she answered that her name was Mischa. She barely made a noise. She had removed herself so far from her situation that she ignored that her might-be saviours were at her door.

Andrea empathized so greatly with Mischa that tears welled up in her eyes. “We’re not leaving you here. We’re going to find a phone and we’re going to bring the cops and we’re going to save you. I promise. We’re not going away. Mischa, I swear everything is going to be better. Help is on the way.”

She turned and got away from her quickly. She felt so connected to her that it seemed like if she stayed longer that she might trade places with her. The water slowed her path to the door. Orrin was waiting at the door, holding it open.

The sun flared into their eyes as they took for their first step out onto solid ground from the basement. The air felt different from the dank basement. The scent of being outside was rid of the filth and desperation of the milking stalls. They paused to just smell the freedom of being outside after their tortuous journey through the barn. Orrin hobbled against the wall of the barn and regrouped his energy.

“Let’s get over to the farmhouse, find the phone, and just call the cops, call an ambulance, call a taxi, whatever and get the hell out of here, eh?” gasped Orrin. He could see the end of the day ahead of him. The circumstances in which they found themselves were surely to be short lived and they’d be fine.

The farmhouse was only about 100 metres from the side of the barn. Andrea helped to hold up Orrin as the two stayed to the front door. Orrin glanced over at the gas tank between the silos and spied the gas canister that they were expecting to return to their car with. He shot it an ironic glance, not believing that their current situation was somehow connected to their brief journey out to the city’s open house. He thought about how far they had deviated from sitting back at home, complaining that there was nothing good to watch on television.

They hobbled up the stone steps to the front of the house. Orrin leaned against the side taking the weight off of his left leg. Andrea opened the screen door and twisted the knob to the house. It spun around and the door pulled open. It was heavy enough to drop out of her hands and swing back. A small hallway sat before them, facing stairs to a cellar, and a living room to the left and a kitchen to the right.

Orrin hopped through the threshold and into the kitchen. There was canned food out on the counter tops cluttering up the place. The cupboard doors were all open, stocked with more cans of fruit, spam and vegetables. Boxes of crackers and cereal laid about. There was stale and stuffy aroma to the old farmhouse. Looking along the floor, Orrin saw two large bowls with wet dog food set out. The food was nibbled at, but not finished. He could smell liver and fish and who knows what else they put into dog food.

His eyes darted around looking for a telephone. He couldn’t see anything. Beyond the kitchen there was an old table absolutely covered in paperwork. He couldn’t make out what it was all for, but there governmental papers, letters from the mail, hand written notes and photographs of people riding horses. Cabinets and shelving units were lined with ceramic model horses, embroidered decorative plates and shoe boxes.

The walls were paneled wood and the ceiling was that Styrofoam tiling used in drop ceilings throughout office buildings. He saw no telephone.

Andrea slinked to the right, going through the living room. An old television sat quietly in the corner atop of a very old radio cabinet – the kind that might have a record player inside of it, and large speakers out front. It was serving as a table for the moment, and probably didn’t function any longer. A plush couch was pressed against one wall that held more paintings of horses pulling carriages. Against the other wall was a stone fireplace and mantelpiece. More trinkets pertaining to horses lay about and dark lamps with incandescent bulbs were covered in dust. Nobody cleaned this place and it appeared only one man lived there.

Cluttered shelves were full of books, photo albums, empty picture frames and the figurines of horses. They were also covered in dust. Andrea searched quietly, but couldn’t find a telephone to call for help with. Glancing out the window, she could see shrubs and trees up against the old house, and noticed that there were dark power lines that came towards the walls. ‘There’s got to be a phone in here somewhere’ she thought to herself.

“I can’t find a phone,” she whispered loudly to Orrin.

Orrin hopped towards her in the hallway. “There doesn’t seem to be one. How could you find anything in all of this clutter?” He glanced around some more. The hallway was the only empty area. Just a small and worn throw rug was in the hall. A staircase heading up to the second floor was a prominent feature in the hall, and he figured that there must be more upstairs to search through.

“Andrea, go have a look upstairs. See if you can find some keys in a bedside dresser or a telephone or something. I can’t believe that there isn’t a phone in here,” said Orrin.

“No, there’s got to be a phone. I’ll see what I can find. You keep looking around down here, okay?”

“Sure.”

Andrea’s soggy feet slushed there way up the carpeted staircase and up and around the balustrade until she was out of sight. Orrin could hear her footsteps as she searched from room to room. Orrin’s leg was pulsing with pain, so he wobbled over to the couch and took a seat. As he flopped down, the air expired out of the couch, and he sank deeply into it. There was a tremendous amount of white dog hair all over the couch and it clung to his wet pants and shirt.

“See if you can find me a towel to dry myself off with, won’t you?” he called up to Andrea.

Andrea was in the washroom at the time, and snagged a towel before she left. There was a bedroom and a guest room up there and a standing fan that rotated around the hallway. She could feel its breeze against her wet legs and arms as it oscillated.

Stepping into one of the bedrooms, she looked at the large unmade bed and saw that there was white hair, dark hair and muddy stains all over the sheets. She sneered at the sight of all the filth where someone was supposed to sleep each night. There were more knick-knacks strewn about the room.

Light shone in through the windows of the bedroom and the early afternoon sun was beaming down on the wet earth that had been pounded by a flash hail storm only a half of an hour earlier. She looked out at a broad-leafed tree and noticed how the sun was reflecting off of the moisture on the greenery. As she watched the tree and the birds hopping from branch to branch, she noticed just beyond that a large grey pickup truck with a covered bed was pulling into the long driveway.

It rocked and bounced through the potholes as it gained momentum up the drive towards the farmhouse.

“Orrin,” she yelled. “He’s back! We’ve got to get out of here!” She darted towards the doorway and the staircase when she noticed a black rotary phone underneath a pile of magazines. “He’s back, Orrin. He’s pulling up right now! We’ve got to get out of here!”

“What?” she heard him respond.

“I found a phone!”

Andrea pushed the magazines aside, and then a buzzing ring shot out of the phone like a fire alarm. The intensity of the sound shook her heart. Andrea jumped a little, and pulled her hand away from the receiver.

The phone ringed again.

“Hey, there’s a phone down here!” called Orrin.

Andrea knew that she couldn’t answer it. They needed to call for help! She sprinted back to the window, to see the old dented truck pulling up to the farmhouse and come to a stop. The engine turned off and the door swung open.

“Orrin! Get out of the house! He’s back. He’s back!”

As the door popped open, a large and dark dog bounded out over the driver. It thumped down into the muddy gravel and circled around waiting for the driver to emerge. The farmer swung one leg out the door before another smaller terrier leapt from his lap and into the mud, as well.

The telephone rang again! It was so startling and loud that it pierced Andrea’s ears and made her heart race.

The little terrier began to bark loudly and frantically. A second leg pulled out of the driver’s side and two sloppy rubber boots plopped into the wet earth. A heavy-set man with broad shoulders and a trucker’s chicken mesh cap lurched out. He was wearing a plaid shirt and faded jeans.

“Shaddup!” the grizzly man yelled at the dogs. The dogs continued to yelp and circle around him.

The telephone continued to ring. Andrea couldn’t wait much longer. She would have to hide before she could make the call. She searched around the bedroom for somewhere to hide. She looked at the muddy bed sheets. She might be able to cover herself with those, but as she touched them she realized that the old mud stains were actually bloody smears.

Andrea face contorted with the realization and fear and disgust climbed up into her throat. She was either going to scream or throw up, and but now was not the time for either of those. She’d have to hide or escape. Those were her only options.

The ring of the phone drew the man out of his car. He reached behind the driver’s seat and snagged a large sledge hammer, and then threw the door shut. With a slight limp, he jaunted towards the house to answer the phone.

Andrea dropped to the floor to see if she could sneak underneath the bed for the time being. There was more filth on the floor, and she almost retched. There were dog bones and half-eaten chew toys lying all over. She got back up and resorted to climbing into the closet. Without even looking, she slinked through the door and gently closed it behind her. It was very dark inside, and she could feel the fabric of clothes on hangers behind her. She pressed herself up against the clothing and tried to bury herself amongst them, just in case.

But what about Orrin? He was still down there, and he couldn’t run. His leg was so badly broken that he’d have no chance to escape. The phone continued to ring, and Andrea could hear the dogs barking as the man opened the front door. She could hear the squeaking screen door open and close and the heavy footsteps of the farmer striding towards the phone.

In the middle of one of the shrilling rings, it was cut dead, and she heard the farm bark loudly, “What?” There was a long pause. “NO,” yelled a grizzled old voice. “Don’t you ever call me here again!” The phone was set down loud enough to audibly jingle the ringer. Andrea hid quietly. She didn’t suppose that the man would come up to the bedroom right away. She could hear the claws of the dogs clicking across the wooden floor as they scurried around the house. She didn’t know what happened to Orrin. She feared that the farmer would find him.

Did he get out of the house? Was he just hiding in the yard somewhere? Or is he still in here? Andrea worried and felt trapped. She didn’t know what to do. Perhaps she could slink out of the closet and use the phone, call for help, and get back into hiding? The thought was in her mind to do so, but the courage wasn’t in her heart to pull the maneuver off.

She could hear the man yelling at his dogs. It sounded like he was getting some food out for them. She could continue to hear the clattering of their claws on the hardwood. Still no indication that they’d discovered Orrin.

STAY HIDDEN AND WAIT FOR THE FARMER TO LEAVE – TURN TO PAGE: A6

CLIMB OUT OF THE CLOSET AND CALL FOR HELP – TURN TO PAGE: B6.1

Again ... if you're interested in a plot direction, let me know and next time I'll post that journey. And let me know if you like it or not.

Choose your own adventure - excerpt 4

A4: Stick around and find out who’s there

            The effervescent call of a girl more clearly was carried over the moist and bright air. “Yeah, that’s definitely someone calling,” said Andrea. Orrin just looked at her with the full gas canister in his hand. He was ready to head back to the car.

            “Seriously? You’re not going to do anything about that,” chastised Andrea. Orrin just groaned uncommitted to her idea.

            “What? It was just someone’s voice. She could be calling for anything, and she’s certainly not calling for us. She shouldn’t even know that we’re here. In fact, we’re not supposed to be here.” He lifted the canister and dangled it, as if it were evidence that they were sneaking off with it.

            “What, now you’re stealing the gas? I thought you were just borrowing it,” she snapped at him.

            Orrin groaned again, “It’s not like that, Andrea. I guess it just feels sneaky and now that we’ve got the gas, I just want to get back to the car and …”

           

            “Come back! Help!”

 

            As clear as could be, the two stared towards the barn across from them. There was no mistaking that there was someone in the barn who was calling out for help. Putting down the canister hastily, Orrin leapt forwards, striding over puddles in the gravel driveway. Splashes rose up around his soaked sneakers as he strode up a small incline towards the large sliding barn doors.

            Andrea watched him head out, and it took a moment before she realized that she was caught up in the moment just watching Orrin jump into action. Giving her head a small shake, she ran to catch up and follow behind him. The two met at the side of the large wooden sliding door and began to push it open. The runners that the door slid on were worn and rusted, and the wheels were muddy and stiff. The door moved slowly and their hands got slipped along the dirty door.

            As it opened, light waned through the doors. The light rain fell damply on the thick straw and hay that carpeted the floor of the barn’s interior. The large cavernous opening was dark and musky, smelling heavily of manure and compost. The creaking door rolled past a notch in the slide, securing it open. The smell rolled over Orrin and Andrea like a thick fog, causing Andrea to shrivel her face and Orrin to choke.

            “Jesus,” he coughed. “Hello? Is there anyone there? Hello?”

            They began scanning the barn. There was a homemade wooden ladder fastened to a musty wooden wall leading up into a loft where a series of cat’s eyes beamed down at them. The high ceiling had rafters arcing from one side to the other. Under the loft there was a dark and musky room covered in cobwebs. Water that had leaked through the old roof dripped down off of the high beams with dull and audible thuds in the hay. The drops were large and cold.

            “Hello?”

            “Come back!”

            The girl’s voice sounded desperate and panicked and permeated from out of the dark room. “We’re coming,” Orrin yelled back at the voice. He cautiously approached the room, using a handful of hay to stroke away the thick cobwebs that surrounded the entrance. The cats above him scattered across the loft with a padded cacophony shuffling above him. He didn’t see any spiders, but knew that they were watching him from every angle, their attention piqued with the tingles in their webs.

            “Orrriiin,” whined Andrea. “I don’t know about this. Don’t go in there. Isn’t there a lightswitch or something? Come on, you don’t have to go in there.” She pleaded with him to be careful as he stepped forwards.

            “Man, this is too spooky,” he laughed to himself, trying to ease the tension and lighten the mood. “Inching forward in the near absolute darkness, he squinted along the walls and strewn hay. It was so dark, and as his figure penetrated deeper in the dark, Andrea grew more and more anxious, watching the blackness surround and envelop him.

            “Just come back, Orrin,” called Andrea. She was getting scared now. Almost pouting, she whined and wringed her hands trying to deal with the discomfort she was feeling.

            Orrin touched one of the walls that were on his side, and the damp heavy wood was slick and slimy. His fingers slid along just briefly until a sharp nail caught her finger and caused him to jump. “Shit,” he yelped, drawing his hand back and waving it back and forth.

            Andrea jumped, worried that something terrible had happened. “Orrin, just come back, what happened? Come back here!”

            “It was nothing,” he called back. Lowering his voice, as if he was just speaking to himself, he said, “I just pricked my finger on a nail.” He stepped a little deeper into the darkness.

            “What was that?” Andrea called after him.

            “I said I just pricked my fing… iuuhhh, fuck!”

            Andrea screamed and rushed to the dark entranceway. It sounded like Orrin fell. There was a heavy thud and a splash, and after that Orrin didn’t make a noise.

            “Orrin! Answer me! What happened? What happened in there? Orrin?”

            She followed into the darkness, creeping forwards, shaking with fear. Andrea hadn’t been much of an adventurer wasn’t comfortable thinking that Orrin could be seriously hurt. Why wasn’t he answering her? What had happened to him? She crept closer keeping her eyes on the ground. She kicked the hay that was down on the floor forwards into the darkness. She could sense that it wasn’t hitting anything, she could sense where the walls and the floors were with each push.

            Then she heard the hay fall away from the floor and a wet landing just a few moments later. There was a hole ahead. Did Orrin fall down? Was it a well? What the hell did he fall into? How as she going to get him out? Her voice trembled, “Orrin. Where are you?” She was almost whispering, fearing that there was something in the dark. She couldn’t see the hole, she knew it was right in front of her. It was so damned dark.

            She glanced back behind her and saw the entrance to the barn. The light waned through the entrance but just didn’t carry through the old barn. She turned back to the task at hand, and her dilated pupils struggled to make any sense of her tepid and opaque surroundings. Orrin must have hurt himself. Why wouldn’t he say something? What happened to him?

            She inched her feet forwards in the dark and found the lip of a ledge. She was standing at the top of the hole, and used her right foot to feel around it. She tried to make sense of what was below her. Her heart was pounding so hard that it made her breath quiver. Her toes found three sides, the hole appeared to be a square, perhaps a hatch? There was space enough to walk around the hatch, and she found a ladder on the other side.

            “Orrin. Are you down there? What happened?”

            She heard a gurgle and a choke from the blackness. Some swishing in the water echoed as if there were a cavern below the barn.

            “Orrin,” she whispered. “What happened,” she sobbed. Her breaths were in windless sobs. She was too scared to take it. The splashing below her increased, and a wicked cough carried up through the dark. The coughing increased, and Andrea could hear Orrin’s voice through the fit of choking. The splashing swished around and the sound of dripping could be heard over Orrin’s fit of coughing.

            “Aaahhhh,” he screamed.

            “What happened? Are you okay?” Andrea wept out.

            “Shit! Oh, my leg,” Orrin called out. “Damn it, my leg, my leg, my leg, aaahhhhh,” he yelled some more. It sounded as though he were rolling around in a cavernous pool of water.

            “I’m coming, Orrin. Hang on,” Andrea called after him. She touched the metallic ladder and slowly began to descend down to help her boyfriend. The ladder felt rough and cold, almost abrasive on her soft hands. Amid her panic, Andrea admitted she’d never been on a ladder in all her life. It just seemed odd that after over 20 years that this was something that she had somehow been sheltered from. She could sense in the darkness that the hatch wasn’t against the walls, but rather in the centre of a room. It didn’t feel like a very large room, though. She splashed down onto a firm concrete floor that was drowned by about four inches of water. It was cold.

            “Are you there, Orrin?” she whispered.

            “I think I broke my leg,” huffed Orrin. “It hurts so much. And I can’t see a thing.”

            “I know. Orrin, what are we going to do? What are we going to do?”

            “I don’t know,” he said impatiently. “I don’t know if I can climb that ladder or not. I guess I should be able to with just one leg.” Orrin rolled onto his side, put his hands down on the floor through the water and lifted himself up. He ached everywhere, and realized that he had a burning pain in his left side. He had slammed into the ladder before he fell down the hole, and must have cut himself pretty deeply. He grimaced, not that anyone could see that in the dark. He shut his eyes closed as tightly as possible to bear the stinging he felt in his side.

            He rested his weight against the wall and panted. The pain in his side and leg was so intense that he had to stop and focus before moving forwards with any course of action. But that wasn’t in Andrea’s plans. She was worried and looking for consolation.

            “We have to get out of here. I’m scared Orrin. What are we going to do? We’re not anywhere near our car! We’re not near a phone! Can you climb up the ladder?”

            Orrin couldn’t respond. The only thing that he could concentrate on was the intensity of the break in his femur. It was just too much for him to handle. He wondered if the pain would ever ease.

            “I don’t know what we’re going to do just yet, Andrea. I just need a second here to rest. My leg is killing me right now,” he strained.

 

“Who’s that? Help, I’m over here!”

The strange girl’s voice carried through a long tunnel towards Andrea and Orrin. The room apparently wasn’t as tiny as it felt. Maybe there is an exit down the hall? Perhaps they didn’t have to climb the ladder after all.

“Where are you?” Orrin called out to the voice.

“I’m locked up over here,” the voice pleaded. There was a hint of anguish and a hint of hope in her voice. “Please, you’ve got to get me out of here.”

“Locked up? What the hell is going on?” Orrin asked Andrea.

“I don’t know. Orrin, we’ve got to get out of here. We’ve got to go, Orrie. C’mone! We’ve got to go,” cried Andrea.

“We’re coming.” Orrin winced and began hopping towards the sound of the voice. The soaked sound of his pants splashing up and down in the shallow water while he progressed through the tunnel echoed around them. The sounds splashing around them helped to give a sense of how narrow the black tunnels were. He could tell they weren’t too far underground and hopefully they weren’t far from another exit.

What the hell was someone doing down here in the dark? This was fucked up. Of all the places, what the hell were they doing down here in the middle of the pitch black on a strange farm, miles away from their car? Jesus, Andrea, though Orrin. Why didn’t you just fill your goddamned car up! This was all her fault. Damn it! Pain flashed up through his leg and his side. He gasped at its sudden flare through his body. After a deep breath, he returned to pushing through the pain.

Up ahead in the tunnel there was some rustling in the water. It wasn’t something big, and it wasn’t moving quickly. In fact, it sounded like something squatting in the water. As Andrea and Orrin wobbled closer to whatever was ahead of them, it began to move around more. The small splashing anxiously increased.

“Orrin, what is that?” whispered Andrea.

“I don’t know. It might be a rat or something,” he answered.

“What’s it going to do?”

“Nothing. I don’t know. Hopefully it just stays away from us.”

A squeak and a flurry of splashes whipped up the water, and created a panic in Andrea. Orrin felt the panic, too. Whatever it was came running towards them. Andrea grabbed at Orrin and clawed at him as the noises splashed towards them. Orrin winced as the additional weight of Andrea pulled down on his only good leg. He habitually went to put his other leg down to support himself, and collapsed under the pain.

            Orrin dropped to the floor, the splash jumping up into his mouth. The water tasted thick of mud and filth, hay was floating on top of it, and he cried out from the flaring pain in his leg. He immediately rolled onto his side to take the pressure off his leg, and spat the water away from him.

            The splashing rodent was right beside him now, and he felt the scratching pinching claws scatter onto him. He didn’t know if it were biting him or clawing at him, and he didn’t know how many there were, but he panicked and rolled around in the water flailing his arms and kicking his legs to get the little bastards off of him.

            Andrea screamed at the attack. She couldn’t kick, she couldn’t run, and tears welled up in her eyes and she yelled in anguish. A squeal from the rat ripped through the darkness as Orrin managed to swipe at it and toss it a few metres away. It splashed down in the darkness and scampered away.

            “Fuck!” Orrin shouted.

            He struggled to his feet. “Let’s go, let’s just get the hell out of here,” he commanded. It was more of a command to himself, as he put his will to work, and started off. “It can’t be much further. Then we’ll get some help.”

            He began to hop quickly, determinedly, and fearlessly. Andrea worried that he might bump into something terrible again, but Orrin wasn’t thinking about consequences. He was just pushing himself to the limits of pain that he could bear to get him and Andrea to safety.

            The sound of the splashes indicated that they were coming to a dead end, and he bumped into a door in front of him. It wasn’t a heavy door, and light was barely visible through the loose shims in the frame of the doorway. He reached to find the knob, and spun it around. It wasn’t connected to any mechanisms, and spun around uselessly.

            “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he scowled. “The door knob is busted.” Orrin slammed his hand against the door and it rattled with a thud. Defeated, he hobbled backwards against the wall. Andrea walked up and found the knob for herself. She gave the door a small push, and discovered that it wouldn’t budge, just as Orrin had. She then pulled on the door, and it opened right up.

            Light beamed brightly into the darkness, and she squinted and turned her face. Water washed out into the brightly lit hall. Daylight shone in from barred windows into the subterranean hallway. It was painted white many years ago, onto stone walls. Chips of paint had fallen away from the walls revealing dark stone underneath. Painted white bars segregated stalls all along the hallway. As Andrea stepped through the threshold, she saw that the cages were all facing towards the centre of the broad room which held a series of feeders in the middle.

            Orrin hopped forwards using the wall as a crutch, and looked around himself.

            “It looks like a dairy farm, or something,” said Andrea. There were no cattle in the stalls now, but they ran up and down the filthy aisles. They could see the water now, and realized that it was full of cow shit, hay, bits of oats and feed, rust, and all types of filth. Andrea looked at her soaking boyfriend, and saw that he was drenched in that filthy water. She squirmed at the sight, and wiped her hands up and down her shirt to wipe the sewage off of herself.

            Orrin dragged his forearm across his mouth attempting to wipe away all the septic waste that was all over his face. His leg was feeling devastated, and it was all he could think about. The pain was so excruciating that it consumed his every thought. Wincing, he staggered forwards, hoping to find a way out of this basement. At least they were trapped in the dark anymore.

            “Hello?” called out Andrea. She listened for a response as she waded through the flooded basement.

            “I’m over here,” called out the girl’s voice. “Please, come get me out of here, please.” Andrea couldn’t move too quickly, as the water was awkward to wade through, like running through the surf at the beach. As she peered through the bars and stalls in the barren basement, she noticed the girl closer to the back.

            She waded through the murky sludge towards the girl. From a distance, she could tell that the girl was dark haired and wearing a very dirty white t-shirt. She was thin and bent over. The splashing through the floating hay was getting disgusting, and the smell of the barnyard was much stronger now.

            “I’m over here, please, come get me out,” plead the girl. Andrea rushed towards here and paused at what she saw. In the stall was a small mirror, a dilapidated cot that was furnished with a thin, stained mattress, and nothing else. She was locked in the cell, and she was sitting in the filthy water. Shit and piss floated around her, as hay swirled towards a small hole that lead out of the basement foundation.

            “What are you doing down here?” stated a shocked Andrea.

            “Just get me out of here! Get me away from him! We have to get out before he comes back!” Her face was bruised and dirty. Her hair wasn’t uncombed. Her skin was pale and pruned. “We have to get away from here, now,” she stressed.

            “Hey, the door’s over here! It’s not locked,” called Orrin. He was lagging far behind because of his lame leg, but had found the door. He was relieved. Although the encounter had been only brief, this was the most unusual thing that he’d ever experienced. He’d never broken a leg before, and wasn’t sure what to do about it, just yet. But they had a long walk ahead of them before they got back to the car, they would have to stop and get gas before they went to the hospital, and he wasn’t sure that Andrea was going to be able to carry that gas canister all the way back, or not. If she couldn’t and it was too heavy, he wasn’t sure that he was going to be able to carry it, either. Perhaps this girl could help, and then they’d get her to the hospital to be looked at, as well.

 

            Clinging to the bars with pale and frail hands, the girl was rocking back and forth, anticipating her next move once she was free. “Please, it’s so cold. The flooding is washing all the rats out of the walls. Please, you’ve got to get me away from here.

            “Well, where’s the key? How do I get you out?” asked Andrea. She was emotionally distraught with the vision of a fellow girl incarcerated like an animal. She felt sick in the pitch of her stomach – she couldn’t believe that another human being would be trapped this way. It was one of her worst fears, of being abducted by someone and being held prisoner!

            “I don’t know where they are! He might have them in the office or something. I’ve been here for over a week! I think he’s going to kill me, she wept. You have to get me out! We have to get away from here. If he finds us, he’ll kill us all,” she screamed. She was frantic, afraid, nearing psychotic. Andrea felt an overwhelming sense of dread. She spun around, staring at the door. What if the man was coming back right now?

            “Please, the rats were biting me before you showed up. There’s dozens of them! They’re not afraid of anything,” she wept. Sobbing, she continued, “They attack me in my sleep. Just get me out of here.” She was so overwhelmed with her situation, she was starting to scream and shake at the bars of the cage.

            Andrea tried to calm her. “It’s going to be okay, shhhhh. Shhhhhhh. We’re going to find the key and get us out of here. You’re going to be okay. Stay quiet and we’ll going to be right back.” There were tears in Andrea’s eyes. She was emotionally overwhelmed with the whole situation! What if the man comes back? Orrin couldn’t protect them with his broken leg. If this girl has been here for weeks, this guy must be psychotic. Who does this to someone?

            Andrea splashed away from the cage. The girl started protesting. She plead for them not to leave her. She plead for them to let her out. She wept and sobbed and cried for their help. Andrea was crying fully by the time she reached Orrin at the door. He was pale and astonished with their discovery.

            “Who the hell is this guy?” Orrin began thinking out loud, and panicking. “What kind of man holds someone prisoner in these conditions? We’ve got to get out of here before this guys comes back, Andrea. We can’t stay here. I can’t carry here, I can’t carry the gas, and our car is miles away. We’ve got to just get out of here. We’ve got to run.”

            “We can’t leave her here, Orrin. We have to get her out!” Andrea insisted.

 

LOOK AROUND FOR THE KEY TO GET HER OUT – TURN TO PAGE: A5

GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE – TURN TO PAGE: B5.1

Choose your own adventure - excerpt 3

Because the last post failed, and I feel bad for not puttin up something of more value than what I did, I now provide the third installment of the Choose Your Own Adventure book. If you'd like to make a choice in which installment you'd like to see next, leave a comment, else I'll just keep following the A storyline.

A3: Walk along to the gas station

The overcast sky provided some shelter from the summer sun today, but the threat of rain weakened the feeling of relief that the cooler temperature was providing. As they walked along the gravel shoulder to the road, Andrea and Orrin were relatively silent. While Orrin had been snippy and short-tempered with Andrea earlier, he sensed that she might be feeling some shame for being so careless, and didn’t want to be too hard on her.

Looking at her, he noticed that she was walking with her eyes on the ground, and appeared to be sulking to herself. He reached over and took her hand. She seemed to like that. They walked a few more yards in silence, making use of the time they had before them to enjoy their company rather than to skulk over their current situation.

It was odd that they hadn’t seen any vehicles all this time they’d been walking. Andrea was the first to break the silence.

“It sure is a quiet afternoon, isn’t it.”

“Yeah,” answered Orrin. “I guess nobody was planning on reviewing the bridge plans at the open house this afternoon,” he laughed. “I knew nobody would show up to that thing. What a waste of time.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Andrea replied. After a brief moment, she turned to face him and said, “You were right, Orrin. I shouldn’t have kept going. I should have listened to you. I messed up and now we’re stuck out here and I mess everything up and ..”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Orrin interrupted, trying to soothe her. “It was just a mistake. These things happen to a lot of people. Don’t beat yourself up about it. And … to be honest, I was too hard on you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” In an effort to lighten the mood, he joked, “I’ll bet it never happens again, though,
eh?”

“No, you’re right. I’ll be ready next time,” she giggled.

“That’s what mistakes are all about,” he said cheerfully.

They both smiled at one another. This wasn’t turning out to be so bad after all. Perhaps they hadn’t found an adventure this afternoon, but at least they managed to get some quality time in together. Orrin stopped walking and pulled Andrea in close
to him, and he hugged her long and hard. She hugged him back, and when they finally parted, it was only enough so that they could share a moment, and then a
kiss.

As their lips met, a small sprinkle of rain landed across their shoulders, and dampened their foreheads. It didn’t distract them, until a few moments later, when the drizzle began dumping water and hail down on them.

Amid cusses, Orrin scanned the surrounding area for some shelter from the torrents of rain that were crashing down on them. The sound of the rain slapping against the asphalt beneath their feet was almost deafening. Grabbing Andrea’s hand, he pulled her towards a small farmhouse about 200 metres in. There was a long gravel driveway and a small gate, but they managed to cover the distance in under a minute. They were laughing a little, and their shirts were soaked, clinging to their skin.

They reached the small farmhouse and got in underneath the balcony, which provided shelter from the hail but not from the rain, which was splashing back up at them from the ground. The icy pellets were collecting all over the farmer’s green lawn.

“Jesus! Where did this come from,” panted Orrin.

The rain was so loud that Andrea could barely hear him. She responded by saying something, but Orrin couldn’t understand her for the sound of the rain. When he went to ask her to repeat herself, he was drowned out by the loudest bang of
thunder he’d ever heard.

The crash of the thunder shook their bodies, and it rolled like a mountainous entity across the fields and into the distance.

“Holy shit!” laughed Andrea. “That must have been close! I’ve never heard the thunder so loud in my life. It was, like, scary.”

Orrin put his soaking arms around her shoulders and pulled her tight. The breeze was cold and biting, but she was warm and soft, and so he cuddled for a moment longer.

“We’ll have to wait for this storm to pass,” he said. “This is way too much for us to walk through. Man, I didn’t think this was going to happen.”

"Ooohhhh,” whined Andrea. “I just thought of something. I don’t think I rolled the windows all the way up on the car.” She pouted a little longer, but wasn’t too distraught about it. No doubt, her interior would be drenched if the windows were indeed down.

“We’ll have to see if any of the hail collected on the floor of the car when we get back, eh?” teased Orrin. “Don’t worry, everything will be fine. This is just a little setback. We’ll be okay.”

He turned around and knocked on the door of the farmhouse. Perhaps someone was home and they could get some shelter, or perhaps even some gas while they were here. There was no answer at the door, so Orrin knocked again. When no one came to the door once more, he shrugged and put his arm back around Andrea.

“I guess we’re stuck out here till the storm passes.” Just as he finished his sentence the rain began to thin, and the clouds dispersed somewhat shining some light down on them. While there wasn’t any rainbow yet, they didn’t have to hide around the farmhouse anymore. “Well how do you like that?” Orrin said with satisfaction.

As the clouds cleared a beam of light illuminated a small congested area by the silos, and right in the centre of them was a large gas tank. “Would you look at that?” smiled Orrin.

“What is it?” asked Andrea.

“It’s just a gas tank. Farmers have them on their properties to gas up their tractors. I think it’s because the tractors would run out of gas if they had to drive back from the station. Or something like that. Anyhow, there should be enough in there to spare for us. We’d just have to get a small canister and pump it out.”

The two of them strolled over to the pumps and found a rusty old can laying nearby. Still dripping with water and kicking hail pellets around with their feet, Orrin gave it a shake to see what was in it. The can was empty, but he could just fill it up and there wouldn’t be any problems at all. They weren’t even all that far from their car. Then it was a simple jaunt back over to the gas station, and their adventure would be done.

“Are you just going to take their gas?” asked Andrea in a scolding manner.

“It’s not like that. We need this. We can come back and repay them later, once we’re okay. I promise, we won’t just steal it. This farmer is doing us a big favour.”

As Orrin pumped some gas into the can, he scanned around, making sure that there wasn’t a dog hunting them down. Oddly enough, the farm was quite quiet now. With the storm gone, all that could be heard were the energetic and busy noises of birds swooping down and around the puddles and mud looking for a bath and something to eat.

A faint noise sounding like a girl’s voice could be heard briefly. It startled Andrea who immediately clung to Orrin’s arm and she asked if he’d heard the call. Orrin hadn’t. He heard nothing other than the charming birds. But he perked his ears and concentrated on the ambient noises around him. He was concentrating so much that he didn’t realize that the canister was full, and began to overflow. The gasoline spilled into a puddle and a rainbow-like stain swirled through the puddle as the gas splashed down into it.

Orrin jumped a little, trying not to get the gasoline on himself, although his leg
became freshly damp with the warm spilt gas. The noise rang out again, and this time it caught his attention.

“Yeah, I heard it that time,” he told Andrea. The two of them stood silently, straining to hear the noise again. What could it be? It sounded like a girl, but any other details were hard to discriminate. He strained, listening carefully, squinting and gleaning towards the barn. “We should just get out of here, Andrea,” said Orrin. “We don’t need some lunatic farmer storming after us with a shotgun!” He picked up the gas can and looked Andrea matter-of-factly. “Come on!”

STICK AROUND AND FIND OUT WHO’S THERE – TURN TO PAGE: A4
JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE – TURN TO PAGE: B4.1

Canada figures into mass extinction

People have always joked that Canada is harmless, and that we have barely got an army and that we're not mean enough to cause any trouble. Or we're not strong enough to cause any trouble.

Well, I've found evidence that events that have occurred over Canadian soil has in fact led to one of the greatest extinctions of life known to the planet Earth!

Geological evidence found in Ohio and Indiana in recent weeks is strengthening the case to attribute what happened 12,900 years ago in North America -- when the end of the last Ice Age unexpectedly turned into a phase of extinction for animals and humans to a cataclysmic comet or asteroid explosion over top of Canada.

A comet/asteroid theory advanced by Arizona-based geophysicist Allen West in the past two years says that an object from space exploded just above the earths surface at that time over modern-day Canada, sparking a massive shock wave and heat-generating event that set large parts of the northern hemisphere ablaze, setting the stage for the extinctions.

Now University of Cincinnati Assistant Professor of Anthropology Ken Tankersley, working in conjunction with Allen West and Indiana Geological Society Research Scientist Nelson R. Schaffer, has verified evidence from sites in Ohio and Indiana including, locally, Hamilton and Clermont counties in Ohio and Brown County in Indiana that offers the strongest support yet for the exploding comet/asteroid theory.

Samples of diamonds, gold and silver that have been found in the region have been conclusively sourced through X-ray diffractometry in the lab of UC Professor of Geology Warren Huff back to the diamond fields region of Canada.

The one scientist, Takersley, the article goes on to explain, initially began researching the topic to disprove West's findings. Now he's part of the team advocating for this suggestion. That's how you know you're on to something big!

But not everyone at the Dinosaur Mailing List Database (DMLB) think that all this evidence is conclusive that Canada will destroy your ass.

So what? Ever heard of glacial drift? Samples of rocks found in Germany and Poland have been conclusively sourced back to central Sweden and Finland but nobody has ever suggested that this proves that Scandinavia was recently hit by an exploding comet.

Tommy Tyrberg

Another poster didn't quite think that scientists discovering sediments from Canada in Ohio was particularly convincing either:

Hi All

Best to remain a bit sceptical of this one until we have some more data. All the current evidence has other sources than a single object's fragmentation. A lot of small stuff rains out of the sky from interplanetary dust almost continually. Something a bit more definitive is needed to say this really was a major "impact" - it could well have been a diffuse mass of small Tunguska-scale air-bursts over a large region, so it might well be very difficult to differentiate such a scenario from the steady fall of nano-diamonds, small meteorites and so forth. Need some lake bed cores with very fine-scale temporal resolution.

Adam

Perhaps, to you, this is all boring or uninteresting - Canada being the site of the cause for the extinction of all mammoths is a BIG deal! - so I've included something that you might find more interesting.

Jurassic Fight Club

Man, I wish I had cable, cause I'd be ordering up the History Channel like it was a right bower.

Choose your own adventure - excerpt 2

When in doubt and I can't come up with something to blog about, here's the next best thing. Feel free to comment.

"Look, you're almost out of gas. There's a station a little ways up around the corner. You should just fill up before we get to much farther."

GO AND FILL UP - TURN TO PAGE: B2

KEEP ON DRIVING - TURN TO PAGE: A2

A2: Keep on driving

“Nah, who cares? I’ll just fill up on our way back. We’ve got enough to get there and back,” shrugged Andrea.

“Are you sure about that? Because I’d hate to be stuck out and ..”

“It’s fine! Don’t worry your little head about it, okay Orrin?” Andrea scoffed at the idea of running out gas. “I know my own car. This isn’t going to be a problem. Plus, the needle can go way past the E. One time, we were in my dad’s truck, and he let it go past the E and we were fine.”

“I don’t think the needle is, like, a recommended time to fill up. E means empty. You should really just turn back and put some gas in. We’re still a few kilometres from the weigh station. Wouldn’t you feel a whole lot better about it?”

“It’s no big deal, honey. Just sit still and think about all the frustration you’ll be able to get out once we get to the open house? You’ll be able to rant and rave and beat your chest. You’re going to look handsome, you know.” Orrin crossed his arms and released a big, throaty sigh of disgruntlement.

Andrea was playing the radio, which was set on a Top 40 station, and Orrin grew even more cantankerous. His huffing and sighing didn’t matter to Andrea, she knew he was just being a bitch about the whole thing, plus she thought it was funny.

Orrin eyed a traffic sign, indicating that the limit was 80 km/h. Frustrated, he bothered to glance over at the speedometer just to prove to himself that Andrea was driving like an old lady. Sure enough, she was doing just a little over 70. Not good enough.

“You can safely drive about ten to fifteen over the limit. Cops won’t care. Even if they pull you over you won’t lose any demerit points,” said Orrin.

“Yeah, but I’m just conserving gas – this way we won’t run out. You know, just in case.”

“Do you know what else might help you not run out?” Orrin barked at her. Then he calmed a little and huffed under his breath, “Filling the fucking tank up when you pass a god-damned gas station.”

No sooner had he said it when the dashboard lights flickered briefly, then dimmed. Then the radio went silent and the engine shut off. While it wasn’t visibly noticeable, the power steering on the Sunfire cut out as well, and Andrea began to panic.

“The steering’s gone! I can’t steer!” panicked Andrea.

“You’re just going straight, you don’t need to steer. Just apply the breaks and you’ll be fine. Good, now put the car in neutral and ease it over to the side of the road. Good job. You’re doing fine. There you go.”

After coaching Andrea to a stop, she had settled herself down a little bit. She took the keys out of the ignition, and then put them back in to start the car up again. The ignition wouldn’t turn over. Andrea was in disbelief.

“What happened?” she asked rhetorically.

Orrin rolled his eyes as if to say ‘I told you so.’ Then when Andrea didn’t notice that he’d rolled his eyes, he hastily took off his seatbelt and said pointedly, “I told you so,” just to make sure that she knew he was right.

Orrin got out of the car and asked Andrea to pop the trunk. She did, and asked what he was looking for. He didn’t say anything. And, he didn’t find anything in the trunk either.

“Why don’t you have a gas can back here?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you think I mean when I ask about having a gas can? Seriously, you don’t have a back up? I mean this is exactly why you should have one in your trunk.” Orrin slammed the trunk closed and strode off down the street to calm himself down. Yelling and slamming things wasn’t going to get anymore gas in the tank, and he knew it. After taking a few deep breaths he came back to the car, where Andrea remained in the driver’s seat, unmoved. She hadn’t even taken off her seatbelt.

Orrin placed his hands on the window ledge and tried to be polite and soothing – while any preparations could have been made to resolve this set back, what was done was done, and they were both going to have to resolve the problem together.

“Okay sweetie. We’re out of gas. There’s no point in us arguing about that anymore, but we should come to a consensus on what you want to do next,” he began. “Basically, you could wait here while I go get some gas, you could come with me to the station, or we could both just wait here for someone else to drive by and help us out, hopefully. What would you like to do?”

Andrea was the one to sigh now, knowing that this was her fault. “Well, how far would we, like, have to walk to get gas?”

“Well, we’ve got to be about 25 clicks away from the gas station back up the road. It’d be about an hour there and back if we were to walk it. We’d have to carry back enough to get the car up and going, too. That might be a bit heavy, but whatever. We’d just have to do it, and then forget about it, right? Plus, ha, you’d have a spare to fill up next time we’re at the station, right?”

“We’d have to walk two hours?”

“Well, or … we could wait here. I mean, it might be a while, but I’d imagine that someone would drive by in the next two hours, right? Perhaps they’d be good enough to drive us back to the station, pick up some gas, and drive us back. They might even have a back-up of their own, and they could just sell us the fuel.”

“How quick do you think someone might do that?”

Orrin was getting frustrated with her questions again. These were things that she could as easily reason for herself without asking him. What was he, the traffic fortune-teller? “Look,” he said hastily, “I don’t know when someone is going to come. And I certainly don’t know, even if someone were to come, if they’d even bother to stop and help us out. Who knows what kind of creep might roll up. I mean, there’s nothing out here but a truck stop.”

“But besides all of that,” continued Orrin, “what do you want to do? We’re either walking or waiting. What’s it going to be Andrea?”

WALKING – TURN TO PAGE: A3
WAITING – TURN TO PAGE: B3.1

Choose your own adventure - excerpt

Zzzzzt click. The transistors in the television shut down and hummed to a silence as the screen turned black. The subject of attention around the room faded blankly into the rest of the furniture about the room.
Orrin returned the television remote to the chesterfield’s arm rest, face down, and he sighed. “Man, there’s nothing left on t.v. anymore, eh?”
Andrea smirked and disagreed.
“Don’t be an asshole, just turn it back on. Just ‘cause the cable’s out doesn’t mean we can’t watch my shows.”
“Yeah, but your shows are drivel. Seriously, I can’t stand any more of that reality shit,” returned Orrin. Facetiously he mocked a deep announcer’s voice. “Stay tuned for another bullshit reality series featuring Greg Kinnear, Craig Killborne, a fat Alicia Silverstone and a rubber duck in a series so lame it makes Stephen Hawking look like an Olympic gymnast.”
“Shut up!” laughed Andrea. “You’re awful.”
Orrin turned and started leafing through the daily paper. “Seriously, we should do something with our day instead of wasting it in front of the t.v. like this. At least the dip in the ratings might encourage the networks to develop some better programming. I can’t handle what’s on these days.”
Andrea wasn’t so quick to reject t.v. “Okay. So, what do you want to do then? What sort of adventure do you think you’re going to get into? At least the shows aren’t as boring as our every day lives, right? I mean, we just go to school, come home, drink a few beers and then wrestle with our homework. Like, we need some drama in our lives to make it interesting. If we don’t have that, then we’re going to go insane.”
“Alright,” interrupted Orrin. “We can go to this open house for the new bridge today,” he said matter-of- factly as he indicated an article in the paper. “Says right here that we can go and voice our opinions on the new road they’re going to be putting in. At least we can make an impact of some tangible kind instead of just sitting around.”
“Ooooh, very exciting. What do you care about the new road? Sounds stupid.”
“Ha, who cares? At least we’re doing something. We should go and just cause shit for everyone there. Protest up and down the place and make a scene.”
Andrea laughed, playing along. “Yeah, we could make the news. They’d quote us about fifty times as the only voice of dissent that showed up, and then they could call the police on us for being such a ruckus.”
“Yeah, and I could kick over a garbage can, or something,” laughed Orrin. “Ahhh, who cares? Those things are all bullshit anyhow. They set those things up to make the public feel like they’re involved in the consultation process, but they’re just going to follow the money. Who’s going to commit political suicide by listening to the public and building something that’s going to fail miserably? Forget I even brought it up.”
Andrea was liking the idea now. “No way! We should go. It’d be neat. I want to see the people who actually do show up and, like, try to make a difference. They make me laugh. The old farmers and the crotchety church ladies and their ugly dresses. Come on! Let’s go.” She got up from her seat and grabbed her car keys. She was really serious.
“I was just being a wind-fucker. I didn’t mean we should really go,” relented Orrin. Andrea snagged his arm and pulled him reluctantly to his feet. Orrin just moaned, “oaaaahhh.”

As Andrea skipped towards her car, rejuvenated with the aspirations of at least a mild adventure in her day, she was bright and playful, unlike the overcast clouds in the sky. She jingled the keys and tried to perk Orrin up a bit. He was dragging his feet, being a miserable asshole as usual. He never liked doing things that weren’t his idea to begin with. The damned thing was, this was his idea, and he was just being a dick about it.
“Come on!” pleaded Andrea.
“Let’s just get this over with,” he groaned. They hopped into Andreas dark Sunfire and started ‘er up. Orrin’s blood pressure climbed up a god-damned tree when she just pulled out of the driveway without looking behind her. She nearly hit the car parked across the road behind her, and would have required the Jaws of Life if there was a truck coming. She didn’t bother to check.
“Jesus Christ! You’ve got to check for traffic,” said Orrin. His heart started pounding up against his ribs and he just glared at Andrea, as she daftly shrugged. “Don’t be such a baby about it. We’re fine!” Then she trew the transmission into park and tried to pull away. Briefly embarrassed, she readjusted the car into drive and pulled away.
“Seriously, I can’t handle your driving,” said an exacerbated Orrin. “He looked out the window, trying not to worry about her checking her mirrors or blind spots. While she drove him nuts with her shortsighted lane changes and absent-minded maneuvering, Andrea hadn’t been in an accident before, and so he just tried to remain calm and let her do her thing. Orrin figured that he’d just distract her with any more lectures while he’s in the passenger seat.
If he could only afford his own car, he wouldn’t have to worry about this. Until then he was the reluctant passenger to her maniacal driving. He swore under his breath as she skimmed by cars parked along the side of the road. He was sure that she was going to knock a rearview mirror off a car one of these days.

Andrea and Orrin had to drive out to the next town over at a small weigh station on the highway. For some reason the municipality thought it was the most central place for everyone in the region to reach, plus there was plenty of parking. Orrin figured that it was simply because it was the most out of the way, regardless of how central.
“Ya know, if they just put this on a common route or something, perhaps more people would show up on their way home or something. Almost anywhere is better than way the hell out here. I mean, there’s nothing for miles. Just dumb farms and that smell of shit.”
“You’re so crass,” said Andrea. “Quit your complaining. This was your idea. At least it’s more interesting than television, right?” she quipped, obviously teasing him. Orrin just sighed loud enough to express dissent. He didn’t even know what he was dissenting against anymore. ‘He’s such a dick sometimes,’ thought Andrea.
“You’re such a baby. Like, why do you have to be so stubborn about everything? All the girls say they don’t have any of these problems with their boyfriends. Why can’t you just want to have some fun sometime…”
“Hey! You’d better turn here,” interrupted Orrin.
“What for?”
“Look, you’re almost out of gas. There’s a station a little ways up around the corner. You should just fill up before we get too much further.”

GO AND FILL UP – TURN TO PAGE: B2
KEEP ON DRIVING – TURN TO PAGE: A2