Octopus Hockey League

The common refrain around the NHL is "What a classy organization the Detroit Red Wings are," but seriously, who still murders animals, stuff them in their pants, sneaks into Joe Louis Arena and hurls them on the ice, and then swings them around their heads? It's ... the most disgusting thing in hockey I can think of. You'd think such a CLASSY group could come up with something less stupid.

Look up "humane alternative" to flinging the Red Wings octopus, and this is what you get:

Al the Octopus - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_the_Octopus



Al the Octopus is the mascot of the Detroit Red Wings of the National Hockey League. During some games (usually home playoffs), octopuses are thrown onto  ...

Missing: humane ‎alternatives

Missing: Humane alternatives, no kidding. This is so stupid.
Simple, arrest anyone who does it and ban them from the arena. And give the Wings a penalty. Soooo classy.


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From Busk Till Pawn, Act 2, sc. ii

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Friends don't let friends Crunch Cakes.

This is how addiction escalates into worse and worse troubles, let it be known, Toilet Duck is a gateway drug. No sooner are you "Doin' Duck" and then you're moving on to "Crunchin' Cakes." It's a bad scene!

Next week: Smells Like the Real Deal

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If you father could see you now

My wife doesn't like this one, she says it makes dinner too morbid. 

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From Busk Till Pawn, Act 2, sc. i

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Jesus! If that business man wants a barbershop pole so damned bad, why doesn't he just go get one? That's too creepy. Do you suppose he's got a financial interest in putting undue stress on a barber, if he is in the hat sales business? Perhaps this is all part of his dastardly plan - - lol.

Next week: Exploring Liquor Alternatives

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Taste Challenge

The doctor still gave him a B+

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From Busk Till Pawn, Act I, sc. v

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Salty Advice x 2: You're welcome.
Smoking sure seems to have a negative impact on Mr. Minestrone's business. How on earth will he ever earn enough if he's always out smoking, or buying smokes, or giving crappy haircuts because he's having immeasurable nicotine withdrawals? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Next week: Horrific Crimes Against Hair

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From Busk Till Pawn, Act I sc. iv

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Interesting facts: the drunk version of this song has 100 verses.
Beardo is on a mission to raise $30 so he can get another bottle of liquor. Looks like he's got his work cut out for him. Meteorology and singing haven't worked out -- what would you like to see him try to earn a few bucks? Maybe he can take a shortcut to acquiring liquor instead of using cash?

Ancient King St. Proverb:
You can give a bum cash enough to drink for a day,
or teach him to earn cash to drink for his whole life.

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Springtime in the Old Days

This is how many conversations are going to go with my sons in a few years. Remember when Spring was awesome? Yeah, me, too. 

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