Black Friday 2014

Stay tuned for all the mayhem!

Black Friday is some terminal combination of the Darwin Awards and Capitalism.

Will it be another sad day today as the invisible hand of capitalism tramples someone because there was a special price on microwaves?

In the UK
Black Friday Turns Deals to Disasters, BF in the UK from the Guardian.
Injuries, Death as Black Friday Spreads to the UK, from CNN.com
Walmart is Most Dangerous Place for Violence, UK

Six Years Later, WalMart Still Hasn't Paid $7,000 Fine for Black Friday Worker's Death, Huffington Post

2 Injured in Stabbings at Tanger Outlets, Costco on Black Friday, New York
Injuries and Suspected Assaults at Brookfield Centre Tesco, wherever Hertfordshire is

Fight Over Barbie; Brawl Inside Kohls, Los Angeles
2 Face Charges After Scuffle in Kohls, Tustin
3 Arrests Made After Fight at O.C. Kohl's on Black Friday: Police

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Welcome to Scooters

This is the gag I redesigned. Check out the first effort .... :S

As mentioned before, this is the first time something was bad and I redesigned it, although not the first time I had a joke I didn't like and pulled it out of circulation. Nonetheless, perhaps this joke wasn't worthy of all the messing around? Well, whatever. I hope you think Hooters is as ridiculous as I do.

While we're at it, here's a joke I pulled from circulation - - it just ... isn't funny. I think there's something funny about it, but I don't feel it's expressed well, or anything. So you can see it if you'd like to, but remember, I'm certainly not vouching for it.

At a WalMart I had a cashier ask if the Eggplant I was buying was a plum. A PLUM? My palm spasmed to palm my face, but ... just in the nick of time, I stopped myself, and spared everyone the drama. That being said, I imagine if a stranger said something really stupid and you facepalmed right in front of them, it would be embarrassing for everyone involved. Better to not do it, I think.

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Rib Quest, Act III, sc. iv

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The End! Beardo finally gets his ribs. Feedback welcome, of course.

What did you think of Rib Quest? Would it rank above or below Stand By Me, and why? Let me know what you think. I'm heartily (which sounds like hardly) working away at the next episode "Give Blood, Play Hockey." I'm striving to make the jokes more consistently and not let the plot interrupt the jokes for the sake of moving forward. Because, seriously, the plot!? Who gives a damn what these idiots are up to as long as it's kinda funny?

Act I	Act II	Act III
Something's Different Taste Like Crap Almost Taste It Exactly What They Want Getting To the Bottom	Happier This Way The Proof Sneak Me In Boost Welcome to Rib Fest	Holy Crap He's Good Here Swimming in Ribs A Freaking Mess

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24 Hours to Live

Courtesy of my nephew. Fishflies beware!

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Rib Quest, Act III, sc. iii

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Oh no! Beardo has been SO excited about getting some of those ribs, and he is SO close, too. But some scrappy little dog is teaching us a valuable lesson:

To eat ribs in the muck,
don't drink Toilet Duck

Act I	Act II	Act III
Something's Different Taste Like Crap Almost Taste It Exactly What They Want Getting To the Bottom	Happier This Way The Proof Sneak Me In Boost Welcome to Rib Fest	Holy Crap He's Good Here Swimming in Ribs A Freaking Mess

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Play it Cool

This is from a true story of a buddy of mine who worked at a super store for years. They turned the customer away, obviously. 

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Rib Quest, Act III, sc. ii

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Obviously, glow bands = aliens. Right? If you didn't know that, well, its' the truth. So, is it paranoia or is there something to D'Ron's observations here? Might aliens be walking among us? Could they have a role in pushing everyone into loving ribs and pulled pork sandwiches so damned much? Are they the missing piece to the puzzle that D'Ron's jigsawing together in his tense mind? Let's find out!

Act I	Act II	Act III
Something's Different Taste Like Crap Almost Taste It Exactly What They Want Getting To the Bottom	Happier This Way The Proof Sneak Me In Boost Welcome to Rib Fest	Holy Crap He's Good Here Swimming in Ribs A Freaking Mess

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